Wednesday 23 March 2011

Don't be a pussy. D.I.S.C.O.

K. This is going to be really quick because I've had a few beers and I'm already tipsy and I just want to shut down the computer but this blogging shit is very addictive.


I WILL POST THE DISCLAIMER TOMORROW I FUCKING PROMISE.


But two things first real quick.


1) I just found this site. 
www.andvinyly.com/
This is REALLY FUCKING IMPORTANT GUYS. All my friends are dicks and my family are lovely and everything but I know they would just bury me and throw holy water and all that shit. But I don't want that! I want this.

You get cremated and they PRESS YOUR FUCKING ASHES INTO A RECORD - 30 of them in fact.


You guys are cool, so I know you would probably come through for me. We will figure out how you will know I'm dead and how to contact my family before I die (no worries, like it hopefully won't be tomorrow... just when and if).


But basically I want The Beatles 'Tomorrow Never Knows' [edite: the version on the SECOND ANTHOLOGY - the EARLIER MIX. Doesn't matter too mcuh if you fuck that up but I would prefer that one tbhj] on Side A and one of my own productions (haven't decided yet) on the B-side. And I want it played at whatever fucjking religious ceremony the fuckers choose to have. Yeah I know - it would mean two ceremonies or someshit but anyway (and my family aren't 'fuckers' I really shouldn't say that).
(I also want a MASSIVE WAKE with shittons of drink and drugs for people who actually ever gave a shit about me to get high and have a great time and FUCKING DANCE AND LAUGH 'cause life is too short.)


 K? Are we agreed then? We'll iron out the details later (and if I am hit by a bus or choke on my vomit or some shit you better find me and please just do that shit for me and I won't turn into a ghoul and climb in your ass or anything.


2) Similar subject.
Loleatta Holloway died. News is just out so I'm sure details are sketchy, but she was an AMAZING disco DIVA. Maybe some of you are old enough to remember her. Others will remember 'Ride on Time' by Black Box who sampled her for that tune. The rest of you will wtf but you should FUCKING BETTER KNOW BETTER about such amazing 
women of the 20th Century.


Here's the classic 'Love Sensation' (which is the tune sampled in 'Ride on Time'). I didn't know it was (adequately) produced by Dan Hartman (hence the slightly excessive cheese) but it's Loleatta who FUCKING KILLS in the track. She is just pure soulENERGY-NOFUCKINGSHITin-your-ears. DOWN TO THE REAL NITTY GRITTY.
You tell us babe. Tell us like we don't know.


link: youtube.com/watch?v=--5FIf8Z6TE


Play it CRAZY LOUD and get on your table and pump your arms pussies. If you think that's too GAY FOR YOU then you are a FUCKING WUSS! an' that's far worse than being homosexual.
AND you aren't invited to my funeral if you're going to be like that. :P

9 comments:

  1. that website is nuts.. haha have a good one.

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  2. i probably wont care what happens to my body when i die- cool idea though

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  3. Even tipsy you're informative. BTW...made you new blog of the day.

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  4. Pumped my arms as per request.

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  5. I swear on my life, that when you pass i will not REST until i get your ashes cremated into
    Tomorrow Never Knows. Ok man?

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  6. you're a funny fucking guy dude. good stuff

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  7. Thanks all. Especially for the positive comments and especially Copyboy for linking me on your button thing. I love how everyone is so amazingly supportive on the bloggorzpot.

    JacksonHunt - I will get a Last Will & Testament out to you somehow. I don't know how you draw them up but I will get it sorted (hopefully without having to pay some money grabbing dickhead lawyer ot anything) and then we can iron out the details for the logistics of the 'ceremonies'.
    Personally - I don't give a shit for that type of thing, just bbq me in the yard for all I care, but my family will and I don't want to piss them off TOO much but they should in turn respect MY FUCKING WISHES - they freaking well better had.

    But, yeah. I really don't know the ins and outs of organizing your own cremation and all and I don't have any cash, so I don't know how we'd work that. I'd just expect my insubordinate fucking family (I don't mean that) to sort out the costs but I guess we can figure it all out as we go. Cool.

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