Thursday, 24 March 2011

SORRY for blogging drunk AGAIN

Gawd I have the shakes so bad. Sorry to everyone AGAIN for blogging drunk last night. At least I woke up *in* my apartment this time. Granted, it was in 'my corner' (technically my SAD corner) but anyway.

I got woken by my friend Jewel. She's an artist in the country side and she was coming to the city I can't tell you why I promised not to. [Edit: And if you are thinking 'Jewel, artist - pretentious bitch WELL FUCKING DON'T SHE IS A REALLY GENUINE PERSON WITH INSECURITIES AND HANG UPS AND PHOBIAS LIKE ANYONE ELSEDon't be such a judgemental shallow prick.] So she wants to meet up for coffee. And I'm all YEP I could probably do with a coffee so I arrange to meet her in the hip trendy place who do really good coffee. I'm not talking Lavazza or Illy I am talking REAL QUALITY COFFEE, fucko.
So I take a hit of gin and grab my smoking tobacco and stuff and my nice new aviator shades (they cost 2.99) and chewing gum. And meet up with her and we drink coffee. She is really funny but I can't remember anything I observed at the time that I wanted to tell you all about because my memory is a STINKING PIECE OF SHIT MEMORY WHY WON'T YOU JUST BE GOOD LIKE EVERYONE  else's memory FFS!?

The barrista, right, get this I need to explain she had the hipster glasses (I KNOW, I KNOW) and she was probably ALMOST a hipster because either her or the other barrista had MGMT playing (too mainstream for hipster now unless maybe the new album - I haven't heard it but I read the HIPSTER BULLSHIT Pitchfork review and thought 'fuck that' don't care).
But she seemed really genuine - behind the stewpid glasses. And I think she kind of liked me - you know how you can TELL. I'm not saying it was a full on 'let me suck you off in the back room NOW' kind of way, but I was all, 'nice waaaannn' about it and smiled and complimented the coffee when I went to get water (I think that was the winner right there). She 'hey'ed me then when I went to use the bathroom at the end FUCKERS HAD NO DRYER or towel dispenser only shit roll ON THE CUBICLE FLOOR so I had to dry my hands ON THE BOTTOMS OF MY OWN FUCKING TROUSER LEGS! (ffs)

I don't know the point of this story. I guess I just wanted to share the barrista thing. Should I go back? Pick flowers or some shit? Or just leave it because I really do NOT want a dumb f hipster girlfriend and I can't afucking-ford a girlfriend right now anyway.

I guess I started telling partly because Jewel really likes the tune 'Rez' by Underworld.
It is a brilliantly composed track with a very mature approach to production. It's by no means 'minimal' (in the typical, 'genre definition' sense of the word), and yet, the repetition gives it a minimal aspect (I guess I'm talking compositionally minimal here).

At almost ten minutes, it's a long track. The fact that, as a minimal enough epically long, repetitive dance/techno track, it made it on to a mainstream (enough) O.S.T. (Vanilla Sky) is indicative of its worth. [edit: my bad, I thought it was on the Vanilla Sky
OST ALBUM, but it appears that it is not].
Much kudos to Underworld for resisting the temptation to shorten it. The tune is allowed breathe and evolve at its own pace. Same goes for how the track has peaks and crests and these flow at a gentle pace even at 126 beats per minute (typical tempo for '90's house/club music).

Underworld never try to over-do the peaks on this one (vs. Rez' original release A-side, 'Born Slippy' for example) and so it makes for perfect listening music and leaves one with a sense of calm - EVEN at 126 bpm, with repetitive synth lead and four-to-the-floor drum programming.

...which brings me to my last memory of last night. I was blasting REZ out, pissing my neighbours off, no doubt, and commenting on Erika's page (I fucking shudder to think what I probably said and SORRY AGAIN to any of you who had to suffer my INANE DRUNKEN RAMBLINGS. I have a shot or two left (I know I said on the other post I finished the half bottle but I clearly didn't know what the fuck I was GOING ON ABOUT NOW DID I?) and I'll get four beers (I FUCKING WISH I could get Special Brew anywhere near here) in and that will be that. I will be good tonight I PROMISE!


I've gone all WOOoooOOzY after all the energy I expelled into all that I may lie down for a minute.


  1. Personally, I'd say avoid hipsters at all cost, but that's just me.

  2. Sound advice Robert.
    - heh sound advice it's what I was SUPPOSED TO FUCKING BE DOING on this blog. Shit I should have called it Sound advice. No that's shit. I kind of like 'unsound' even though it was a fuck up - it was supposed to be 'Sound On Sound Info' (Carl Craig reference). But no I did it drunk of course and FFUCKED IT THE FUCK UP LIKE EVERYTHING.
    And now I'm thinking I will just DELETE ALL OF IT and pretend it never happened which would be SHIT because I met YOU on it Robert, and Electric Addict and some other really cool people.
    Not to mention Erika, but it's just gone and spiralled WAY OUT OF CONTROL and I don't think I can handle it. Might be needing that dudes help for the vinyls sooner than I thought.
    FUCK./ JHJJKOXCFMEDOMCADEBIE And I hate how when you mash the keyboard to express something fuck all keypresses actually occur.

  3. P.S. I hope everyone who I commented last night will somehow read this because I was going to go around to all the blogs and apologise but I'm just too fucking upset and I just couldn't face it.
    I'm crying and I feel kinda sick gtg

  4. I should probably check in to rehab or something. This is just not healthy at all.
    Mopping sucks. Pissing people off on the Internet sucks. My life sucks a steaming pile of shit. It didn't for a second there. But I went and ruined that by being over zealous and too fucking drunk.
    Dunno what to do really. I guess I can't take it all back now. Maybe I could forge on with this idea? I dunno. I'm all deflated now. I kind of wish I had just played Resident Evil the first night I got the 'great idea' to start a sound engineering blog. Or at least not got immediately distracted like always. Really fucking sucks. wtf ffs brb going insane...

  5. Oh, don't cryyyyyyy. Pour yourself a methadone, everything will be alright.

    I started recording our song btw but then I started messing around with it in Audacity and had to add rhythm guitar, melody, bass and a sampled drumloop. I'M SORRY!! I don't know if I want to send it to you or not because the whole thing is a mess and then my brain exploded all over it from panic and shat a fucktonna noise over the whole track and the guitar sounds so whack now cus I didn't tune it beforehand and I was messing around with fx and shit and it sounds like a happy beach song about raping dead babies and holding hands with you.


  7. Ohhh now I'm embaressed cus I said that thing about holding hands with you. You don't have to hold my hand, it would be nice if you did though. It might smell a bit but I can wash it if you'd like?

  8. Uh... what? What am am I reading what am I hearing?
    The Iggy Pop tune is all "yeah, it's alright, yeah it's alright' and you're talking about us holding hands and it's a fucking crazy coincidental posting with the Iggy song in the middle of your two posts. I need to get my head around this.

  9. Is there really 'raping dead babies' in the song?

  10. If you don't like raping dead babies, I can take it out!!

    Oh no!! Now you're gunna think I'm weird or something.... I really hope you don't. OH, YOU HATE ME, DON'T YOU!!

    I should just kill myself now.... You obviously don't feel the same way about me as I feel about you anyways. What's the point in even typing any of this.... It's pointless, I scared you away... It was the holding hands thing wasn't it??? =[

  11. Fuck Erika, nooooooo! It's not like that at all.
    I think we are both getting a nit carried away and high strung.
    If you don't want to do a collaboration for whatever reason I COMPLETELY RESPECT that.
    I really wish you would do one with me and I would really love to hold hands on the beach and sleep on benches together and you could move out away from John-cunt and into my place - which is just as FUCKING ANNOY KIDS IN THE COURTYARD FUCKING SCREAMING ALL DAY JUST STFU FFS! For five seconds. But we could at least suffer it together.

    K. I DO *really* like you and you know that from my drunken shit last night so just not worry about that. I'm not overly keen on 'raping dead babies' tbh but it's cool if you want to leave it in.


  12. * abit - sorry I am eager to let you know how I feel so I am not editing the comments.

  13. K. So let's try and get GROUNDED here. We need to not be being right back and going insane. I definitely can't handle the ups and downs any longer. I think we know we have a very special spontaneous cosmic sensual style connection going on here Erika, but let's just keep it the fuck in check.


  14. So what I need you to do, if you're willing is to EXPORT EACH TRACK from Audacity as an mp3 file. Try to make it at least 192kbps if you can.

    This might be a pain for you, but try.

    If you can't do that then zip the Audacity file and the folder containing the information and upload it somewhere.
    I would prefer mp3s because I need to watch my cap and my provider will rape me in the earhole if I go over my limit and cut me off and we will not be able to communicate with efficiency like this.

  15. I really should have not said anything about the dead baby raping! OMG I CANT ACTUALLY BELIVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT IT, I'll take it out. Or I can leave it in? I just don't know anymore, my mind is full of FUCKITY FUCK FUCK and I need to breeeaaatheeee I'M JUST SO FUCKING HAPPY!! Do you really feel this way about me or are you just trying to be nice? I... I think I'm in love with you.... is it too soon? OH NO ITS TOO SOON ISN'T IT!!

    What do YOU want me to write about, I would sing anything for you. What genre, what should the lyrics be about?? I'm really excited about this song now!! OH WOW I'm so happy, I think I just pooped myself a lil bit.. is that weird? I don't think it's weird. OH I HOPE YOU DON'T FIND IT WEIRD BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE WEIRD

  16. It would be weird if you pooped dead babies LOL!

    Erika just calm the fuck down and breathe. You sound worse than me.
    Just get what you've done already on line.
    If I make a nice mix of it and you like it we'll get married, k?

  17. And Erika, for what it's worth I really am sorry for actually getting way drunk and overzealous and pouring my heart and fucking soul out over your blog. It's not cool to spill all that shit all over your followers and annoy everyone like that.

  18. You seemed to get my 'buzz' and I overstepped my welcome or some shit I can't find good words for.

  19. cool post! *continues eavesdropping*

  20. I'm really sorry, I'm managing to breathe okay now.... I'm really sorry that I also did the same with your blog. I just got a bit overexcited, you see.... I hope you being sober doesn't change the way you feel about me. Because I still really wanna do this song, I just have some stuff I really need to sort out first.

  21. Great Erika, thanks. <3 $> ))<>((

    THAT'S YOUR LOT SHEEP you can go home now! :P

  22. ...being sober changes NOTHING btw.


  24. my lot? what do you mean, histers?

  25. It's an expression meaning that's enough for you or you've had your fill.
    I dunno. Erika, you explain it.

    I'm saying the show is over.

  26. Thanks for stopping buy though. I'll check out your freaky cool art now after my food!

  27. well you have to take into consideration the cultural differences since we are on cyberspace..

  28. your blog is like gold. go back and pick that chick up dude. give her a compliment and be like, 'hey, you should come get coffee with me sometime. you like coffee right?' then bang her in the butt

    anyways, go check out my new mix i posted up on my blog. it's got some week old MSTRKRFT on it, and a lot of other sweet tunes

  29. I realise that skinners. YOU THINK I DON'T REALIZE THAT SHIT? It's all gravy baby. (That means everything is okay) k?

    Thanks again MAXEEMOOM P. I like your moxy. But I shouldn't say coffee, really, it's why no one wants to be a vagina doctor, right?

    Well, not lesbians anyway.

    And they do the best coffee so where would I take her? tbh she's a dumb hipster byotch and there's someone pretty special in my life now (if you didn't notice) so but yeah, no - thanks for the advice. I'll remember it for when this relationship or IF it all goes to shit after she tries to castrate me in my sleep (why does that ALWAYS happen? Does that happen you much?) WHICH WON'T HAPPEN THIS TIME BECAUSE IT'S FOREVER?

    I'll check the mix tomorrow. You're going to shit your pants and fling it at me when you hear this but I'm listening to INXS right now and quite enjoying it. Great production on Kick, man.

  30. you dont have to get so defensive.. im not even attacking you. im just saying that you shouldnt expect anyone to know what your talking about (which you did with me) when you use cultural "expressions".

    have a good one

  31. No worries boss. All the best to ya.

  32. I stupidly let a couple of my RL buddies know about this blog (as if I'm not ostracized enough by them.)
    Armbands said 'Its like Charles Bukowski and Phil Spector had an evil love child'.
    Seems like a compliment to me!

    My friend Wrongwrongwrong is yet to voice an opinion.

  33. So much fun feeling sorry for yourself isn't it? LOL! So easy, so "cool", so very, very dramatic. Too bad the sad loser isn't in vogue anymore. You're boring and you're lucky anyone is checking into this blog anymore. You're so boring, you can't even utter a sentence without "fucking" this, or "fucking" that. Why don't you try something really grown-up and fix yourself? Oh wait! That would require WAY too much effort. Soooo much easier to sit back, do nothing and whine. So buh-by loser, definately buh-by.

  34. My comment will be visible after approval? I'm sure it will... or not! Lol!

  35. Thanks for your comments and criticism Mr. Anonymous. We have duly filed it in the bin and feel it unfortunate you have not listed your contact details to appropriately deal with your feedback.

  36. Incidentally, you got here from a google search for: 'no, i really am getting drunk again'.

    Who is the bigger loser?
    Think about it, fucko!

    ;] <3 <3 Drop by again soon. xx k ilu bai!