Monday, 11 April 2011

Mixinz! Vox, stereo spread etc.

Kewwwl, so you have optimised the sound for each track.
And you've watched your freaking levels, riiiight?

Now you are ready to mix.
Or as you stewpitly put it 'get the volume for each track right'.
ffs. Really?

Let's just flippn' proceed with the BS regardless of your cluelessness ffs.


Yay! The fun bit at last.

Mix it all (wit da fadorz) so it sounds nice. 
Now, jamember, per chance, when you pushed the fader back up until it *almost* hits zero/the red for each track? When you, you know, watched your levels and that?
Yep, I never do that either, but let's pretend we all did that and we always do.

What instrument is going to be your most prominent? (FUCKING FORGET ABOUT VOCALS FOR NOW. Singers are dicks anyway. All music you are involved in should be instrumental. ZIP! ALL OF IT!)

That synth riff really drives the tune, yeahhhhh. That...

K unless you want to fade it - don't touch that damn fader whatever you do and DO NOT push it higher or it will CLIP (be hot/distorted). Mix everything DOWN around that. (Yes I know you want another instrument more prominent in another section, but you're a clever little soldier and you can figure out automation and all the tricks cantchya? Yes you can, yehhhsh! Just watch your fricken levels fruitbag).

I getcha bro!

Ah but do you?

Yep. But what about the vox bro?

Oh dear. I knew it.

Vocals should 'sit on top of the mix'. Get your mix sorted first and then 'sit the vocals on top'.
Just 'sit them on top'.
Don't forget to drown your vocals in reverb because the singer is a fuck load shitter than she/he thinks and reverb will gently wash away and soak over the cruddiness - and also water-massage their HUMUNGOUS EGO when they listen back. 

For GEORGE FIFTH BEATLE MARTIN'S *SAKE* don't use autotune.
Oh. Too late. God damn AyyyyyyKON man. Fuck this shit.

Do what you like with the 'vocks' just be sure to 'sit them on top of the mix'. That's it. Just 'sit them on top' there.

And.... exhale.

Oh backing vocals? Pan them. I don't care. Treat them like guitars, whatever. (And no, I DO NOT KNOW how Shania Twain's husband gets that incredible sound on his backing vocals. I DO NOT KNOW stop asking).

Compressing vocals can be tricky by the way. 
Use Bittney Spears accapellas and all that messy annoying work is done for you. Copyright Schmoppyright. Am I right?! (High-five).

Pan stuff left and right. 
You probably already did because you are a total idiot and now when you change a pan the whole mix will fall apart. Uggggggggg. *sigh* Yeah, I can't compose well without mixxetty mixin' all the way through too. It would be a good idea to (somewhat) 'zero the desk' at this point (excluding the faders and eq on channels you used for sweeps etc. above). That means you RESET - pan everything centre and set all the channel eq's you stupidly fucked with while monitoring because the mid-range *BOOST* (oh, you didn't did you?) on the piano track helped you 'hear it better', but on second thought fuck that for a game of laughs.

Touch up the eq's on the channels a wee bit if necessary (SPARINGLY and try not to BOOST! - you will be adding shitty db sucking frequencies all over the shop - remember the stupid video streaming pop up window in the background analogy? [No, because you never read that post? GO THE FOOOK BACK AND READ IT ALL, MORON!] Boosting here will be opening little flash jobbies - not as bad as streaming video, but mmm.

Do all that shit for now - some VERY important mixing pro-tips to follow... (ffs).


  1. Thanks for letting us know the order

  2. Random, but congrats on the shout out from Erika! :D

  3. Yay me, right?
    Although you got her measuring a body part for you which is well impressive.

  4. i love me some reverb. looking forward to protips

  5. @Stare Dad - No it didn't. LOL!

    ed - play me some more of that grungey strum bass.

  6. Never seen someone put so much character into a how to guide lol

  7. haha awesome! that was really an emotional guide!

  8. I love YOU Venus.
    Especially because your comment shows that you read at least ONE word of this post.
    This indicates to me that I should return the favour bu reading ONE word of your current post and saying "I love..." wait I'm going to do it now. Actually meh I said 'wishes' which was a bit fucking relevant tbh....

    Let's just see how this pans out luvvie. K?