I'm still alive.

I like to drink still.

I'd like to hear from you. I miss you.

I've had five psychotic episodes and I will write about them sometime. Might probably take another twenty years. But I'm on the meds that keep it from happening again... maybe even if I have a joint or two.

I di miss you... if you're somehow still around. We all got done for this or drifted away... I never got done I just kept below the radar with three or more blogs and didn't 'trade' or search for clicks. (CLICK THE ADS!) But nah I never really bothered. Got stuck into the community via chat and that was fun for a while, buit rarely did any trades and just enjoyed myself in my poverty at the time.

I never thought I would find love (and then destroy it) but I did and it was great until it wasn't - look, I look great here:

It was taken by my lover at the time.. maybe you know her.
She shaved that bit of my head the night before and she gave me the spike in my hair to offset it. She also gave me a nice amount of make up when I needed it..:

And did a fine lil portrait:

That was all thanks to her. I miss everyone [from here]... but I suppose I miss her the most. I would. She used to suck dick through a whole movie without any cum. And it was sweet as could be. INTIMATE.

But I'll never see her again. She lives on the other side of the globe with 'him'. Fuck them both tbh. I just can't get over that. She said she wouldn't go there again even though she did once after we 'broke up' but she went there and as far as I know has been there since. He studied philosophy WHAT?! He was one of the most childish humoured persons I've ever met. He called me a "Potato Nigger" and laughed.

Well, that's her life now I guess (unless she's left him for a worse see you next Tuesday... which I was one). I don't want to get into it here but I abused her severely - digitally because it was a long distance relationship but I beat her down as much as I could from my keyboard and that was that, she went off with him.

I was in the middle of a psychotic episode. And I've have two since. It's tough to get down on a page and I'm leaving myself 20 years to do so, so check back then! But it's a wild time I can't explain just yet. Sometimes in it you make wrong decisions of being overly 'truthful' to people you love and end up pushing them away - even though you're reaching out with both limbs extended as far as they'll go.

It's been a strange few years... many of it sitting on my ass in front of a computer without typing very much or not recording mic or editing video or whatever I used to do pre-episode or post!.. or during. There's lots out there to review if you can find it!

I generally like to chill and put something of mild interest on the Internet and soak up heat from my heater in the Winter and just ignore if the Sun is out in the Summer. But thanks for tuning in today. Leave a message. I might be gone and forgotten, but you mightn't be so keep typing or trying x.