How are you guys this fine Zombie Jesus Day?
Zombie o, zombie. Zombie no go think, unless you tell am to think.
(Hey to Zombie, that was for you).
So I went out with a couple of Hungarians I'd agreed to host for my idiot friend Pwn who had invited them to our other friends' house before realising he, nor they, would even be there.
They weren't too mad for the drinking. (Not that I would hold that against them - and I would hope also that they not hold my lushy lushousness against me). We had a beer or two here, and went out for ONE drink. Which I paid for. I can't afford that shit - not without getting drinks back.
Everywhere was too loud and drunken for them. We eventually found a place with an area with a sofa and no boom boom tunes. For ONE fucking drink.
Got them back here and forced a whiskey down their throats as I guzzled most of the rest.
Then I went and annoyed people on the Internet. You guys are lucky I didn't think to sign in to the blopposport is all I'll say.
Whiskey is a hell of a drink.
Why am I telling you all this? ffs.
On with this Mastering plop.
We're nearly done - no idea what shit I will talk about once your thooper dooper track is mastered and exported and getting fifty million views on pootoob.
Suggestions welcome.
----------------------
MASTERING: COMPRESSION.
----------------------
Again with this fucker.
Much like EQ mastering, ('mastering EQ': whatever you: want: to call it) and everything else preached about here, I am not going to pretend I know dick about compression in the mastering process.
I've heard 'normalise only once'. *shrug* yeah sure. I guess.
I've normalised, compressed, 'mastered' a tune. And then decided I want another instrument in it.
Mix it again? Fuck that says I. I just reduce the master by a few db, lash in the new instrument or whatever. Normalise. Compress. Normalise. REcompress. Export it to notepad, check it against that green code stuff in the fucking MATRIX, change a few ascii characters here and there. Write "I AM THE FUCKING BOMB NOBODY CAN STOP ME" right there in the middle of the file, save, open it in PHOTOSHOP which says it's not a valid file until I slap it around and finally it concedes and does what it's told and THEN I paste an IMAGE OF MYSELF looking toooodally hot!!! into a new layer, reduce opacity to 50% and FFFINALLY convert the fucker into an mp3 at 60kbps bitrate and it still sounds like fifteen large refuse sacks of AWESOME because that is! How I roll.
Seriously, I break the rules. Never, ever break the rules. It is so bad.
Okay - here's my 'magic BREAK ALL THE GODDAMN MASTERING RULES trick'.
(THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE WRONGEST WAY TO DO ANYTHING, EVVVORR!)
MAGIC BREAK ALL THE GODDAMN MASTERING RULES TRICK
-------------------------------------------------
A thing called 'wavehammer' in Soundforge.
hmm
what is it? i doesnt soundforge anywhere
Get it.
I don't eq for precious dbs - just on instruments so it acheives the 'right' sound to my ear.
Then I make sure the output is not peaking in whatever software I'm using. (Rock stereo fader WAYY down LOL!)
Export.
Bring it in to Soundforge.
I barely ever master: eq: master.
I MAYYY roll off frequencies in the booooooooohhhhmmmmbooooooooohhhhmmmm end.
Normalise - This makes the loudest element of the tune 0db and brings everything else up the same amount.
Now here's the trouble. Half the freaking madbawnkorz snares I threw in at the end are 5db louder than the rest of the mix.
5 blasted db'z?! How the fuck did that happen? But they do sound all kinds uncredible HURTLING INTO MY EARS LIKE ACID HAIL. ZER0pH! IT BURNS BUT IT BURNS SO GOOD (WHAT???! *lifts dreadlock-wig behind ear*)
Eh... maybe I did everything wrong? Well, OBVIOUSLY, but...
Yep, get that all the time. I didn't mix it right really did I? I should go back and re-eq and compress the snarez an' all and redo the mix andfuck that BORRRING.
I zoom in on those hits, select them and draw a graphic fade which dips about 5db right on each hit. (I'm effectively doing a 'manual compression'.)
Normalise - adds 4.3db YAY!
Then I hammer it to fuck - within reason (the concept, not the software - nor with an actual hammer).
Wavehammer is a magical box of magical wizardry in Soundforge.
I used to spend hours dicking about with compression until this came along.
Same concept as compression above.
Find the average quiety part of the tune.
Say it's about -8db. Set threshold to -10db.
Try the ratio at 2, then 2.5. Don't throw it higher than 3.5 - you are not Daft Punk remember.
Dick about until it sounds nice and loud, but no audible 'sucking' (you'll know what I mean when you do it, trust me *slurp*). Hit stop and check a recent release from a similar genre. Need to turn down the speakorz? Then you are doing it incorrectly my friend. HAMMER TIME!
Again, consider dynamics. (Google 'loudness war' a very interesting topic/'conTROVERSY' in today's music mastering eh.. climate. Actually the animated gif at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loudness_war might enlighten you visually as to what compression is all about).
(I am so signing up to be a soldier in the LOWWWWWDness W0rZ.)
Soooo. Nurrrly there.
We will export your phat beetz next lesson (unless I get drunk and/or emotional about whateverz and go on a bloggin' rampage).
Sunday, 24 April 2011
Friday, 22 April 2011
GOOOOOOD Friday.
This is the day Our Lord was Crucified on the Cross (and loads of words that have capital letters).
I'm losing my patience, I just came here to bounce.
So anyway. As tomorrow is a day of mourning I mean *today* is.
Eh... whut?
(bit drunk).
I just figured I'd do my party party Friday post now.
* _ *
|D|
____|o|____
| Do † the |
¯¯¯¯|D|¯¯¯¯
|A|
|N|
|C|
|E|
* ¯ *
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sy1dYFGkPUE
That is all. Enjoy your weekend.
[Edit: It's about MJ you numbskulls. Also I misheard the lyrics as 'as drunk as you like' - yep. Make of that what you will.)
I'm losing my patience, I just came here to bounce.
So anyway. As tomorrow is a day of mourning I mean *today* is.
Eh... whut?
(bit drunk).
I just figured I'd do my party party Friday post now.
* _ *
Thursday, 21 April 2011
Wednesday, 20 April 2011
Mastering EQ. Like, not 'mastering eq' but Mastering: EQ, yeh?
Yeah fuck, sorry soul brothers and soul sisters, I been away a few days from the blog.
Sobriety is pretty amazing.
Granted, I did drink (at a real slow pace) from 8pm Monday to 8am Tuesday, but aside from that I haven't had a drop.
Been out walking in forests, touching leaves, lying back staring at clouds and talking to little animals. Breathing air sans alcohol breath. The world is a wonderful place through crystal sobriety.
But anyway fuck that shit, got some tasty Belgian beers in tonight and am ready to forge ahead with your mastering issues.
-------------
MASTERING: EQ.
-------------
(The dots really work. Man, I'm good.)
Follow the same EQ principles as before [fucking go and READ THE PREVIOUS STUFF], but this time it's a lot more delicate and subtle.
DO NOT BOOST if you can help it! Can't stress this enough.
Here we will use a cooking analogy. Huzzah!
Roll off (turn down), cut the sub-bass frequencies - that is the fat on your meat. Slice that shit off and throw it to the dog.
Again 50hz and below (unless it's dooorty Dubstep, in which case you are fucked and will never make anything that remotely compares to yer fave - Skrillex, yoo loozer).
Drain off the juice.
Take off any mud. Nothing too drastic - there SHOULDN'T BE ANY MUD IN YOUR MIX ANYWAY NUMBNUT!
Subtly enhance and touch up a band here or there to add yummy sauce.
Now. Get BOOSTING!!!
Up in the high end is all sparkle. This is your seasoning. Taste and retaste.
Throw up those frequencies a bit here 'n 'there all the way up there.
Oooh! So shiny and sparkly!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
GRAPHIC EQ + DIAGRAM THAT TOOK FOR FUCKIN AGES SO YOU BETTER UNDERSTAND
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
When using graphic eq (with the bands and that - no not rock bands, the things what look like little faders - DON'T CALL THEM FADERS!) make sure it's a smooth wave looking thing. Don't have *just* your 900hz slider way up (or way down, but I realise you aren't taking on board the 'no boost' rule so that is redundant) because it 'gives the kick drum definition'.
Other shit is there too spanner, and will jump out jarringly from the mix. Each slider should be relatively nestled between or sitting just above the two either side. A wavy curvey thing.
Oh fuckit. HERE:
| | | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | | - db
| | - | - | | | - |
| - | - | - | - | |
- | | | | | - | | |
| | | | | | | | | |
30hz60hz120hz240hz480hz900hz1.8k3.6k7.2k15k
Flowy wavey curvey. See?
STILL Don't know what I'm talking about do you? (I KNEW that painstaking ascii diagram was a waste of time).
JFGI! (Don't know what jfgi it is? (I realise I mentioned it before, but didn't clarify). This helpful link will tell you all you need to know: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=jfgi - any conundrum in the Universe can be answered at that site.)
(See what I did there? Man, I am a witty bastard).
Anyway. EQ blah blah. You can try your hand at multi-band compressy type EQ whenever you want. Just don't ask me a damn thing about it. I've used it successfully in the past, then gone back to use it next time and been all like wtf? idk whhhhhat I am doing lol this makles no difference buhhhh... and tings.
Mastering: Cuntpression next post. Oh dammmit.
Sobriety is pretty amazing.
Granted, I did drink (at a real slow pace) from 8pm Monday to 8am Tuesday, but aside from that I haven't had a drop.
Been out walking in forests, touching leaves, lying back staring at clouds and talking to little animals. Breathing air sans alcohol breath. The world is a wonderful place through crystal sobriety.
But anyway fuck that shit, got some tasty Belgian beers in tonight and am ready to forge ahead with your mastering issues.
-------------
MASTERING: EQ.
-------------
(The dots really work. Man, I'm good.)
Follow the same EQ principles as before [fucking go and READ THE PREVIOUS STUFF], but this time it's a lot more delicate and subtle.
DO NOT BOOST if you can help it! Can't stress this enough.
Here we will use a cooking analogy. Huzzah!
Roll off (turn down), cut the sub-bass frequencies - that is the fat on your meat. Slice that shit off and throw it to the dog.
Again 50hz and below (unless it's dooorty Dubstep, in which case you are fucked and will never make anything that remotely compares to yer fave - Skrillex, yoo loozer).
Drain off the juice.
Take off any mud. Nothing too drastic - there SHOULDN'T BE ANY MUD IN YOUR MIX ANYWAY NUMBNUT!
Subtly enhance and touch up a band here or there to add yummy sauce.
Now. Get BOOSTING!!!
Up in the high end is all sparkle. This is your seasoning. Taste and retaste.
Throw up those frequencies a bit here 'n 'there all the way up there.
Oooh! So shiny and sparkly!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
GRAPHIC EQ + DIAGRAM THAT TOOK FOR FUCKIN AGES SO YOU BETTER UNDERSTAND
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
When using graphic eq (with the bands and that - no not rock bands, the things what look like little faders - DON'T CALL THEM FADERS!) make sure it's a smooth wave looking thing. Don't have *just* your 900hz slider way up (or way down, but I realise you aren't taking on board the 'no boost' rule so that is redundant) because it 'gives the kick drum definition'.
Other shit is there too spanner, and will jump out jarringly from the mix. Each slider should be relatively nestled between or sitting just above the two either side. A wavy curvey thing.
Oh fuckit. HERE:
| | | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | | - db
| | - | - | | | - |
| - | - | - | - | |
- | | | | | - | | |
| | | | | | | | | |
30hz60hz120hz240hz480hz900hz1.8k3.6k7.2k15k
Flowy wavey curvey. See?
STILL Don't know what I'm talking about do you? (I KNEW that painstaking ascii diagram was a waste of time).
JFGI! (Don't know what jfgi it is? (I realise I mentioned it before, but didn't clarify). This helpful link will tell you all you need to know: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=jfgi - any conundrum in the Universe can be answered at that site.)
(See what I did there? Man, I am a witty bastard).
Anyway. EQ blah blah. You can try your hand at multi-band compressy type EQ whenever you want. Just don't ask me a damn thing about it. I've used it successfully in the past, then gone back to use it next time and been all like wtf? idk whhhhhat I am doing lol this makles no difference buhhhh... and tings.
Mastering: Cuntpression next post. Oh dammmit.
Sunday, 17 April 2011
Mastering - initial CRUCIAL advice.
Last night was the first night I didn't drink a drop of alcohol this year.
I KNOW! a) that's ridiculous and b) well done me.
(Note, I did accidentally gulp down the swallee of mouthwash before bed - woops. Just habit, I will let that slide - probably fuck all alcohol content in it anyway, it's usually a placebo effect to help me sleep tbh).
Amyhoo. On with the show:
When your mix is nicey soundy double check that your master peak level (your STEREO OUTPUT LEVEL - it most likely has a red 'light' or some indicator flashing like crazy because you DIDN'T WATCH YOUR LEVELS! and bumped up that synth like I told you not to.
If the SIGNAL (your 'song') is too HOT (clipping/distorted) it will sound like Nirvana but not in a good - Steve Albini (renowned sound guy , look him up you clueless dickwad) way.
Ideally it should be peaking in or around -3db
Lash down your master fader until it's usually always green.
If you have to pull it WAY down, you did something wrong DUMMY!
This always happens me. I just normalise it in Soundforge. Kerblammo.
-----------
MASTERING
-----------
(Oh fucketty fuck bollox oh crap).
(Also, I just realised 'mastering' is a shitty term. It looks like it's a verb in the headings below [edit: these posts are pulled from a complete guide what I wrote ages ago]. 'mastering e.q.' I suppose I could put the two little dots on their side - that might make a bit of freaking sense right there).
Your tune should ideally sound very similar across a wide variety of equipment. Like a successful record will sound great on a transistor radio as well as in a club with 20,000 WATTS of boom boom shake the room power.
Even BEFORE your track gets to mastering phase you should be burning a CD and playing it ALL OVER THE SHOP. (HAHA FUCK YOU! I didn't mention that back then did I? pfft. That's because I forgot because I never do it.)
But LITERALLY go down your local shop and demand they put it on ("customer is always right!") so you can hear it there. Then go to the omgkewwl scenester Phunky Clotheeng Store in town and get them to play it (man, that bass is poppin' - iKr?!). Sit in your friend's beat up banger of a vintage automobile and play the 8-track copy you just made. You can't output to 8-track? Oh for fuck's SAKE! You NEED EVERY FORMAT AVAILABLE TO TEST THIS SHIT!
...phonograph cylinder, 78's all that shit. Just test it anywhere and everywhere. You will surprise the fuck out of yourself how varied your mix will sound. Of course it won't have bass on tinny laptop speakers, but you shouldn't notice the guitar more than the shit sounding cheesy strings you decided to put in there to make the mid section all 'poignant' (you fucking pussy), when you play it on your Dad's 26 year old Panasonic hi-fi vs. your CDJ 1000 / Numark DXM06 / TurboSound Impacts setup. (His rig kicks yourse's ASS by the way).
But anyway, you were saying...
Yay. Mah mix is all kindsa orrsum and I made it mahself an put hourz of time into it and I luvs an I can't wait ta put it on dem intornotz an every1 doonloud it an me get fayyymus an all like THe Skrllix their da best wub wub ;) dirty knickers lol.
My just need MASTAH MAH TOON NOW!
<b><i><u><font size="9000" color="#FF0000">WROOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!</b></i></u></font>
Fucking wrong wrong wrong.
NEVER! NEVER! @EVER EVER!@!!"!11!...
Just never master your own work.
If you can't afford to get it done professionally (and there *are* decent reasonably priced services out there), at least get a competent fellow music head to do it.
Fresh ears are ESSENTIAL in the mastering process.
The very fact that you are so close to the tune means you have NO objectivity and haven't a breeze as to how it will sound to your audience when you do put it up on your shitty youtube channel, or worse yet, myspace (use soundcloud, numbskull).
:( But I can't afford to get it mastered and my friends are all either too busy and superdupercool or stupider than me at muziks perdukshun and anyway I don't trust anyone with MY PRRRESHSHUUUUSSS.
Yeah, me too. That's why I always master me own choons.
BAM!
Next up we'll get down to mastering proper.
I KNOW! a) that's ridiculous and b) well done me.
(Note, I did accidentally gulp down the swallee of mouthwash before bed - woops. Just habit, I will let that slide - probably fuck all alcohol content in it anyway, it's usually a placebo effect to help me sleep tbh).
Amyhoo. On with the show:
When your mix is nicey soundy double check that your master peak level (your STEREO OUTPUT LEVEL - it most likely has a red 'light' or some indicator flashing like crazy because you DIDN'T WATCH YOUR LEVELS! and bumped up that synth like I told you not to.
If the SIGNAL (your 'song') is too HOT (clipping/distorted) it will sound like Nirvana but not in a good - Steve Albini (renowned sound guy , look him up you clueless dickwad) way.
Ideally it should be peaking in or around -3db
Lash down your master fader until it's usually always green.
If you have to pull it WAY down, you did something wrong DUMMY!
This always happens me. I just normalise it in Soundforge. Kerblammo.
-----------
MASTERING
-----------
(Oh fucketty fuck bollox oh crap).
(Also, I just realised 'mastering' is a shitty term. It looks like it's a verb in the headings below [edit: these posts are pulled from a complete guide what I wrote ages ago]. 'mastering e.q.' I suppose I could put the two little dots on their side - that might make a bit of freaking sense right there).
Your tune should ideally sound very similar across a wide variety of equipment. Like a successful record will sound great on a transistor radio as well as in a club with 20,000 WATTS of boom boom shake the room power.
Even BEFORE your track gets to mastering phase you should be burning a CD and playing it ALL OVER THE SHOP. (HAHA FUCK YOU! I didn't mention that back then did I? pfft. That's because I forgot because I never do it.)
But LITERALLY go down your local shop and demand they put it on ("customer is always right!") so you can hear it there. Then go to the omgkewwl scenester Phunky Clotheeng Store in town and get them to play it (man, that bass is poppin' - iKr?!). Sit in your friend's beat up banger of a vintage automobile and play the 8-track copy you just made. You can't output to 8-track? Oh for fuck's SAKE! You NEED EVERY FORMAT AVAILABLE TO TEST THIS SHIT!
...phonograph cylinder, 78's all that shit. Just test it anywhere and everywhere. You will surprise the fuck out of yourself how varied your mix will sound. Of course it won't have bass on tinny laptop speakers, but you shouldn't notice the guitar more than the shit sounding cheesy strings you decided to put in there to make the mid section all 'poignant' (you fucking pussy), when you play it on your Dad's 26 year old Panasonic hi-fi vs. your CDJ 1000 / Numark DXM06 / TurboSound Impacts setup. (His rig kicks yourse's ASS by the way).
But anyway, you were saying...
Yay. Mah mix is all kindsa orrsum and I made it mahself an put hourz of time into it and I luvs an I can't wait ta put it on dem intornotz an every1 doonloud it an me get fayyymus an all like THe Skrllix their da best wub wub ;) dirty knickers lol.
My just need MASTAH MAH TOON NOW!
<b><i><u><font size="9000" color="#FF0000">WROOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!</b></i></u></font>
Fucking wrong wrong wrong.
NEVER! NEVER! @EVER EVER!@!!"!11!...
Just never master your own work.
If you can't afford to get it done professionally (and there *are* decent reasonably priced services out there), at least get a competent fellow music head to do it.
Fresh ears are ESSENTIAL in the mastering process.
The very fact that you are so close to the tune means you have NO objectivity and haven't a breeze as to how it will sound to your audience when you do put it up on your shitty youtube channel, or worse yet, myspace (use soundcloud, numbskull).
:( But I can't afford to get it mastered and my friends are all either too busy and superdupercool or stupider than me at muziks perdukshun and anyway I don't trust anyone with MY PRRRESHSHUUUUSSS.
Yeah, me too. That's why I always master me own choons.
BAM!
Next up we'll get down to mastering proper.
Friday, 15 April 2011
Friday downer buzz/experimental dub ramble.
It's Friday and as such I can't be arsed annoying you with sound informations and dodgy audio advice.
This week I'm not too 'up for it' - unlike that other Skrillex Friday and the time I ended up in a cult up the mountains (or I think that was probably a Saturday night).
Truth is I drank for twelve hours last night - until 7AM.
It wasn't even fun and now I have a stupid dull hangover that won't piss off even if I was to try a 'cure' (I just know by the feeling of settled pig-shit in my brain the type it is).
So yeah. It also means I drank all my money last night. Which fucking sucks double since it wasn't even worth it.
I have enough MAYBE to get me through on the nicotine addiction but my inner alco is just going to have to go fuck hisself because I can't afford another drop of alcohol until Tuesday.
Should be a nice break. I can only hope the detox won't be too nasty. I usually 'ramp' down (with a bottle of wine or what have you) after all nighters, but no choice, and anyway it was a slow enough pace - about 1 beer an hour so maybe just a little bit of sweaty ass in an hour or two and hopefully no major horrors or shakes.
D.T.s are a bitch kids, never get yourself to a point where you get Delirium tremens. It can provoke a psychotic episode and even fucking kill you.
Sorry to be on such a downer as the weekend approaches.
It'll be chill enough in Casa del PryON I reckon.
May even do some experimental dub. My experimental dub stuff is the shit. You would hate it but I love the wooshiness. I use an album on cassette on a four-track portastudio and 'redub' forwards and backwards over the original recording using shit loads of manually fiddled infinte delay loopage (I'd love a proper echo chamber dealy but all I have is my trusty delay pedal)... delay dealy, dealy delay.
K. I will stop boring the crap out of you and ruining your weekend buzz now.
Peasout my sweets. Have a good one.
This week I'm not too 'up for it' - unlike that other Skrillex Friday and the time I ended up in a cult up the mountains (or I think that was probably a Saturday night).
Truth is I drank for twelve hours last night - until 7AM.
It wasn't even fun and now I have a stupid dull hangover that won't piss off even if I was to try a 'cure' (I just know by the feeling of settled pig-shit in my brain the type it is).
So yeah. It also means I drank all my money last night. Which fucking sucks double since it wasn't even worth it.
I have enough MAYBE to get me through on the nicotine addiction but my inner alco is just going to have to go fuck hisself because I can't afford another drop of alcohol until Tuesday.
Should be a nice break. I can only hope the detox won't be too nasty. I usually 'ramp' down (with a bottle of wine or what have you) after all nighters, but no choice, and anyway it was a slow enough pace - about 1 beer an hour so maybe just a little bit of sweaty ass in an hour or two and hopefully no major horrors or shakes.
D.T.s are a bitch kids, never get yourself to a point where you get Delirium tremens. It can provoke a psychotic episode and even fucking kill you.
Sorry to be on such a downer as the weekend approaches.
It'll be chill enough in Casa del PryON I reckon.
May even do some experimental dub. My experimental dub stuff is the shit. You would hate it but I love the wooshiness. I use an album on cassette on a four-track portastudio and 'redub' forwards and backwards over the original recording using shit loads of manually fiddled infinte delay loopage (I'd love a proper echo chamber dealy but all I have is my trusty delay pedal)... delay dealy, dealy delay.
K. I will stop boring the crap out of you and ruining your weekend buzz now.
Peasout my sweets. Have a good one.
Wednesday, 13 April 2011
Mixing: Pro tips.
Before we begin I just want to extend my appreciation and gratitude to everyone who commented on my 'Fucks who don't read Fuck Off' post. Nice to know a lot of us share that sentiment, and that there are many of us who do pay attention to the blogs we visit and aren't being selfish ignorant attention whores. (Not that I'm not a raving blatant attention whore, but I try not to be ignorant or selfish).
Kewl. You guys rock.
On with the pro-tips:
DO NOT BE A GUITARIST OR A LEAD VOCALIST
----------------------------------------
Don't be a guitarist. Just don't.
This, believe it or not, is crucial, crucial universal and absolute advice.
Guitarists can't mix.
Guitarists especially can't mix guitar. Dumb ones put it too loud.
Self conscious ones have it way down in the mix. (I'm not even referring to those mixing their own stuff here.)
Same rule applies x99,000 to singers.
Back in my engineering days - before becoming barred from all studios in this city for reasons I won't go into here, I (of course) used most of my studio hours to record my own band.
We had one decent song (or one that stood out as a commer$hal potential chort toppah! It got one play on the radio and evryting!).
Mix was quiet but just fine otherwise until the solo. It fucking screamed out of the mix. Ear melting stuff.
Months later...having booted out our 'singer' I rerecorded myself for the vocal (another production NO NO - I even did it alone without a tape op, in the control room! LOL!) My voice was so sweet and delicious compared to his. Yeah I fucking NAILED it! *WINNING!*
Anyway. This required a new mix.
Guess what?
Yep - you got it. Where is the solo?? People were climbing into their speakers to hear my solo. CLIMBING IN THEIR SPEAKERS! Everyone, everywhere! CLIMBING. IN.... to their speakers yup.
And guess what too? Yuh-huh. The vox was mixed low and all.
We struggled on for maybe a year but that fatal mixstake (haha! mixstake! geddit?) cost us our fame and fortune.
Eventually I stepped on the DISHTORSHUN PEDDOLL one last time and switched to techno production because computers don't try and steal your fucking limelight as frontman and write songs that sound EXACTLY like fucking PRIMUS evendowntothe f...fakeAmericanaccent. AND!!! AND! CHEAT ON YOU WITH EDDIE FUCKING ROCKSTAR IN THE GARDEN OF A PARTY WITH THAT TUNE HE'D ALREADY BROUGHT TO REHEARSAL FOR *US* TO WORK ON DURING THAT FUCKING WEEKfucking cunnnnnnnnnnn.... And stuff.
Yeah, good times. Being in a band is like marriage really. It's all about communication and compromise and other words that start with C.
Kewl. You guys rock.
On with the pro-tips:
DO NOT BE A GUITARIST OR A LEAD VOCALIST
----------------------------------------
Don't be a guitarist. Just don't.
This, believe it or not, is crucial, crucial universal and absolute advice.
Guitarists can't mix.
Guitarists especially can't mix guitar. Dumb ones put it too loud.
Self conscious ones have it way down in the mix. (I'm not even referring to those mixing their own stuff here.)
Same rule applies x99,000 to singers.
Back in my engineering days - before becoming barred from all studios in this city for reasons I won't go into here, I (of course) used most of my studio hours to record my own band.
We had one decent song (or one that stood out as a commer$hal potential chort toppah! It got one play on the radio and evryting!).
Mix was quiet but just fine otherwise until the solo. It fucking screamed out of the mix. Ear melting stuff.
Months later...having booted out our 'singer' I rerecorded myself for the vocal (another production NO NO - I even did it alone without a tape op, in the control room! LOL!) My voice was so sweet and delicious compared to his. Yeah I fucking NAILED it! *WINNING!*
Anyway. This required a new mix.
Guess what?
Yep - you got it. Where is the solo?? People were climbing into their speakers to hear my solo. CLIMBING IN THEIR SPEAKERS! Everyone, everywhere! CLIMBING. IN.... to their speakers yup.
And guess what too? Yuh-huh. The vox was mixed low and all.
We struggled on for maybe a year but that fatal mixstake (haha! mixstake! geddit?) cost us our fame and fortune.
Eventually I stepped on the DISHTORSHUN PEDDOLL one last time and switched to techno production because computers don't try and steal your fucking limelight as frontman and write songs that sound EXACTLY like fucking PRIMUS evendowntothe f...fakeAmericanaccent. AND!!! AND! CHEAT ON YOU WITH EDDIE FUCKING ROCKSTAR IN THE GARDEN OF A PARTY WITH THAT TUNE HE'D ALREADY BROUGHT TO REHEARSAL FOR *US* TO WORK ON DURING THAT FUCKING WEEKfucking cunnnnnnnnnnn.... And stuff.
Yeah, good times. Being in a band is like marriage really. It's all about communication and compromise and other words that start with C.
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